


A Quiet Town On a Flat Plane

by KeithTheWriter



Category: PaRappa the Rapper
Genre: Awkward Dialouge, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Dickish Ma-San, F/F, F/M, Language, Lesbian Character, Maybe OOC, No but for real...this was rough, Potty-Mouth Rammy, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-18
Packaged: 2018-12-14 22:17:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,839
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11792604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KeithTheWriter/pseuds/KeithTheWriter
Summary: Thanks to the greatest artist ever, Rodney Greenblat (I think I spelt that right, sorry). This is gonna be a mostly CANON story of lesbian singing animals (despite not much music will be in this fic...).Basically, Lammy comes out to Katy and Ma-San and the news spreads across town like wildfire...which could cause problems for all involved(I'll add more characters and tags as I write this, which will be a slow burn process.)





	1. The Day The Truth Came Out

**Author's Note:**

> Headcanon:  
> 1\. Katy tried dating guys, but her relationships never got past holding hands and stuff.
> 
> 2\. Like alot of fics, I imagine Lammy as a shut in with poor social skills without her guitar.
> 
> 3\. Ma San is rude, but she has a heart of gold, but it's a deeply ill-minded heart.
> 
> Now for actually important info, this isn't gonna be a daily update fic, it would be too much of a drag to have to write everyday for this.
> 
> I hope you guys/gals enjoy this short intro bit

Lammy has...issues. She's anxious, a bit sluggish and overall an introvert...but she tries, and that's what's important. For a person that was once dead, she seems quite...alive (no pun intended). Since her misadventures to get to that concert all that time ago, she makes sure to hitch a ride with Katy, someone she knows would never judge her...right? With all that's happened in Parappa Town, with noodle crazed agents trying to take over the "world", and rapping ant gurus, it's hard to be sure of anything. Katy is a net, the wind in her sails...if it wasn't for her, Lammy would've given up on almost everything, excluding lying in bed and sulking. For the longest time, Lammy was unsure of her feelings for Katy. Ever since childhood, Lammy has seen her friends and classmates start dating...something like whatever the deal is with that dog and his...flower...girlfriend (maybe?),aside from that, she thought the so called "cute" or handsome men in her life were just that, men. But Katy is something else, she's so...alluring, to be blunt. The worst part is trying to convey that without either conceding, changing the subject, or looking like a stuttering, incoherent psychopath. But of all people, Lammy was 100% sure Katy would be fair with her feelings, so she finally spoke out, not to her family or therapist or anything like that...but to her only friends, somehow it felt nice. While Ma-San laughed and ignored directly replying...Katy was different, she was proud, despite the awkwardness of the situation. Either way, band practice isn't the best place to bring up topics like this...but Lammy had to let it out.

"So...that's the "BIG SECRET" you were so worried about tellin' me?" Katy scoffs mid sentence, trying to diffuse the tension.

"Hah...told ya! You owe me like...20 bucks Kat..." Ma-San squeaked, doing her own form of a victory dance

"Oh...uh...I'm sorry guys...I-I-I...I should've kept that to myself...I can't blame you for feeling creeped out..." Lammy sadly spoke, sniffling lightly.

"Well..." Katy walked closer to Lammy, putting a hand on her shoulder

"WAIT" Ma-San yells abruptly, jumping into view

"What is it, Em-S?" Katy rubs Lammys shoulder

"Didn't Matt also think this was her "secret"?"

"MA-SAN! Not now!"

"You owe us 40 big ones, Katy..." Ma-San pressed the unrelated topic, in a vain attempt to either further ignore the situation at hand, or she REALLY wanted that 20 dollars. Without a word, Katy held her hand to Ma-Sans mouth, and looked back at Lammy

"Lammy...you don't need to apologize to me for being you...ever. I know you were worried I'd freak out or something but no...I'm always here for you, Lamb-chop"

Before Lammy could retort, Katy gave her a quick smack on the lips, and smiled that usual affectionate smile, and Lammy felt almost every possible emotion in the book, but mostly confusion mixed with fear.

"Lammy, I'm glad you were upfront about your feelings! But...there's something I need to admit as well..." Katy 

"Y-Yeah?" Lammy shakes slightly, fidgeting with her fingers in a rapid motion.

"I feel the same way..."

Lammys face was deep red, not to mention mumbling incoherently

"N-No way! You're lying! I'm a mess! Y-Your way out of my league! I-I mean..." Were among the words that could be made out. 

"Lammy Lamb...don't you tell me how I should feel about someone like you...I, well, like you, and that's the truth!" Katy hesitantly states, trying to sound authoritative without being too bossy. She reluctantly removed her hand from Ma-Sans mouth, who wasn't exactly happy to be ignored for that length of time

"Eugh...get a room, lovebirds...I got work to do..." Ma-San choked out, glaring at Katy with a deadpan stare.

"Hmph..fine, lets go Lamb-Lamb...she'll come around eventually...come on, I'll walk you home" Katy retorted, huffing directly at the smaller mouse-girl

"Oh...okay, bye Ma-San...good luck on that uh...thing" 

Ma-San didn't respond, instead huffing right back, getting back to...whatever it is she WAS doing. 

"...I gotta tell Parappa...he NEEDS to hear this...he's gonna freak!" Ma-San squeaks, speaking as fast as possible, she runs out towards Master Onions dojo, something telling her that Parappa is most definitely there.


	2. The Day The Neighborhood Went Wild

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> During a spur of the moment shopping spree, Parappa comes into contact with a strange individual who seems to be looking out for Lammy and Katy, presumably with ill intent
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> (Yup, this story has homophobes as the main antagonists, yaaay...either way I hope I don't trigger too many random people, or else I might need to cancel this whole thing out of posterity)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and reviews are always welcome, guys/gals

"Kick, Punch!....uh...I can't believe I forgot the motions...aww man!" Parappa sits down, feigning sadness. Since defeating Burger Masters son all that time ago, he kinda let some things slip. He needed some excitement and fast. Luckily, excitement would find him, in the form of a rather stout mouse person.

"Hey You, Mr. Rapsalot!"

Parappa looked around, befuddled by who is trying to get his attention. Not be rude, but he isn't the brightest person in town

"Over here, brainiac!" Ma San shouts aggressively

"O-oh, hey there...uh...you!" Parappa pretends like he noticed her from the start...he didn't...

"Listen! You know Katy?"

"Uhh....yeah...she's nice...what about her?"

"She's out on the town with Lammy...her guitarist friend she told you about!"

"Uh...okay?"

"Ugh...do I HAVE to say it...Lammy and Katy are....an item...I guess?"

Almost cartoonishly, Parappa eyes shoot open and he plops onto the ground in front of him. He then sheepishly holds his head up before getting onto his feet

"For real? I thought Katy was dating Matt or whatever..." Parappa confusedly leans his head at an odd angle.

"Wait what?....never mind that, we need to spread the news"

"Uh...nah I don't think so...they need some privacy, man..."

"Forget privacy, they totally shoved me off and went and are probably doing whatever it is Lammy actually likes, which almost certainly isn't being in public."

"Uh...hum..I'd rather not..."

Out of nowhere, PJ appears to be staring into no place in particular, then blurts out

"Hey look P, there's Katy...and some redhead girl...I wonder who that is!"

Parappa fixes his beanie, then looks at where PJ is pointing, then begins walking at a brisk pace

"HEY KATY...WHAT'S UP!"

Katy looks towards Parappa, then taps Lammy on the shoulder before stopping with a skid and a hop

"Hey Parappa, still causing problems?"

"Nah, it ain't like that! Hey...who's the tall girl next to you?"

Lammy notices and immediately puts on an overly large hat, trying to fade away from view

"Uh...this is my...uh...friend...Lammy, she's had a rough time as of recent...but she's beautiful as is.." Katy states matter-of-factly, before gently rubbing Lammys cheek

"Hey, you two, like....lesbians and stuff?" Parappa asks...almost sounding annoyed

"PARAPPA! THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, YOU CREEP!" She flails her arms aggressively in the air, before threatening to plant Parappa with a punch.

"Hey! Hey! I'm just askin' cause Ma-San said you two were...together!" Parappa whimpers out at full volume, while shielding his face

"Grrrr...that girl sometimes...*sigh* yes...me and Lammy are...currently dating, but I swear Parappa if you ask any creepy questions about...us...I will POUND YOU!"

"Oh...kay...good to know, I gotta tell Sunny!" But before he can flee, Katy and Lammy grab Parappa by the shoulders

"No...no no no you are not! Lammy needs her privacy, you are telling NOBODY, got it?!?"

"Ack! Yeah! Yes!" Parappa flails wildly in midair.

"Good"

They gingerly place him back down 

"Sorry about freaking out like that, Parappa...but me and Lammy need some time to ourselves before everyone finds out!"

"Does your mom know...I mean, she's GONNA need to know, I may as well tell her!"

"Eugh, you're right....I...I'll tell her when I get home, right Lammy?"

Lammy leapt a bit at the impromptu question

"U-Uh Yeah! We can both tell her, I guess..."

"Great Idea, Lamb-Chop!" Katy cheers whilst giving Lammy a warm embrace

"Hey uh...can I come with? I think PJ will be fine!"

Lammy and Katy look each other in the eyes, then back at Parappa, and Katy nods affirmatively.

"Woohoo! Where you ladies off to?"

"Fleaswallows stand, gotta find something nice for my special little ewe, hehe"

Lammy blushes wildly, and hides her face under her palms.

"Cool, let's roll girls!"

He runs forward, the others not following for a bit before he stops and turns 180 degrees

"What're we waitin' for, guys?"

There's an awkward silence, then Lammy begins moving, with Katy quickly catching up

Since the whole "Noodle uprising", Fleaswallow hasn't been...doing that amazing. While yes his stall is noticeably larger, he himself hasn't made that much money that hasn't gone into adding to his stock of eclectic items. The stall itself is now large enough to fit more than 5 people max, which is an improvement for safety's sake. Back to our main cast, Parappa shuffles awkwardly behind Lammy and Katy, who are idly talking while perusing clothes, until Katy turns around and acknowledges the smallest of the three

"Hey, Parappa!"

"Yeah? What's up K?" He slowly looks up to respond

"You doing alright there?"

"Yeah...but my grind ain't involvin' clothes, I'm just...outta my element is all."

"Oh, well so far you've been nothing but pleasant, that's a positive, right Parappa?"

Before he can reply, Lammy shows Katy a pair of pants from off of a shelf, and Katy squeals with juvenile glee

"Go put that on, Lammy...I just GOTTA see what it look like on ya!"

"O-Ok, gimme a second please..."

Lammy proceeds to dart into a nearby changing room, hurrying at max speed with plenty of groans and murmurs. Within the minute, she comes back out, covering herself with an oversized towel, sniffling 

"Lammy, what's the matter?....C'mon, tell me..." Katy calmly asks...slowly as to not overwhelm her partner

"I don't wanna show you, I look like a tramp! I've failed your expectations! *sniff*"

"Oh...that couldn't possibly be true Lammy!"

Lammy sighs, sniffles and drops the towel, to reveal nothing extremely noticeably wrong.

"Uh...no offense...but..what's the matter with those pants?" Parappa asks, leaning over a stool as to peek over Katy.

"You don't see it?! I may as well write "prostitute" on my forehead!"

Parappa walks away slowly, with Katy rubbing her head in confusion. She slowly walks forward, hands level in midair.

"Lammy...what's wrong..?"

Lammy whispers something to Katy that Parappa doesn't overhear from where he's standing. And Katy lets out an audible laugh

"C'mon Lammy, let's get your old clothes back on, okay?"

Parappa begins to hum some kind of rap song, not paying attention to the giggles Katy is giving off from the room across the tent. Then suddenly, an angry man grabs Parappa by the head and yanks him away from the clothes "aisle".

"Hey kid!" He screams at high pitch right in Parappas face

"Uh...yeah?"

"You hear the "news?""

"Uh...the Mountaineers lost the final game of the season?"

"No!"

"Oh..."

"I was told there's LESBIANS in my town!"

Parappa thought for a second, made an audible gulping noise and whispered "Ma-San!"

"What?"

"Nothin!"

"You wouldn't happen to know anyone who fits the characteristics of an LGBTQ sleazeball?"

"Uh...THAT LADY OVER THERE!" Parappa yells, pointing at a tourbus full of old women.

"Thanks kid!" 

The man drops Parappa, and runs after the in motion vehicle, yelling expletives. Parappa sighs, and is almost immediately spooked by Katy tapping him on his ruffled beanie.

"Hey P...sorry about taking so long, Lammy just freaked out on me because her pants were slightly too small for her...she means well..." she sighs happily

Parappa decided against telling her about the...strange man...for now. 

"I-I'm ready, Katy...let's go..." Lammy awkwardly says, trying to both be heard, and not be rude.

Something is telling Parappa that sooner or later, that man will be back...but he shouldn't worry, all he needs to do to save the day...is believe...right? 


	3. The Day She Called

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The introduction of TrevorTheWriter Characters into this fic (hopefully I did them justice)
> 
> Katy recieves a phone call

A few hours after the encounter at Fleaswallows, Katy is back home, she has yet to break the news to her mother. Parappa hasn't told the group about that...man. All things considered, the Noodle Syndicate is FAR worse than some strange man with social issues. Katy, since she got home, has been sitting on her bed humming something about corners and the NOT cutting of them. When her mother creaks open the door just enough where her favorite orange shirt is visible by Katy.

"Hey, Katy-K? Katrina sheepishly inquires

"Yeah Mom?" Katy shifts her focus slowly, then makes full eye contact

"You okay? You just shut yourself in here ever since you got back from hanging out with your friend..." She continued to open the door, until a quiet bump is audible

"Yeah...I'm fine...just..." Katy blushes slightly, but tries to hide it

"Oooh..you're in love? Aww...you don't need to hide it, it's a natural part of growing...especially for someone as grown up as you..."

"What?!? How do you know?" Katy's tail is acting splayed out, wriggling wildly.

"It wasn't so long ago when I started dating again myself! Trust me...it's a bit awkward at first, I know...but it's SUCH a good feeling..." The grin on Katrina is probably wide enough to look like a toothpaste commercial.

"Oh...Kay?"

"So...who's this special someone, dear?"

"It's....uh...my friend...Lammy...yeah..."

Katrina doesn't freak out, or even appear fazed, just smiles and says "aww"

"MOM!"

"I don't wanna sound rude, but I thought you two would've started dating like months ago!"

"Uh...really?" 

"Either way...I'm so proud of you for being honest, K..."

"Thanks Mom..." Katy awkwardly rubs her neck

"Just...*sigh* my girl is all grown up..."

"MOM!"

"Hehehe...well...good night dear..."

"Yeah...good night, mom..."

Katrina closes the door, laughing to herself as she walks away, affirming herself on just how grown up her little girl truly is. Katy exhales, then lies down. She is almost immediately interrupted by her phone ringing, which she promptly answers 

Without fail, on the other end was Lammy.

"H-hi..K-Katy..."

"What's up girl?"

"Th-the sky...my roof?"

"Hahaha...No Lam-Lam...how are ya?"

"I uh...I'm lonely, and I...wanted to hear your voice...s-sorry..."

"Ooh you little minx you!"

"Ah! I-I-I didn't mean to..."

"Lammy...I'm trying to be a bit more...flirty...y'know?"

"Oh...uh...you're being...seductive..."

"Maybe..."

"I....uh...okay...u-um..."

"Okay Lammy...don't freak out..."

"Oh..uh Katy...Pa-Parappa told me that th-there was this guy who was looking to hurt you!"

"Ha! I'd like to see em try! I'd kick their butts! I do have karate training, remember?"

"I-I know...but I'm worried something will happen to u-us!" Katy can hear Lammy doing rapid teeth chattering motions

"Don't worry Lamb-Chop, I'm gonna come and meet you, and I'll keep you safe until this whole thing blows over, got it?"

"Please be safe....buh-buh-babe?..."

"Daww, I'll be FINE! See ya in a few!"

Katy slams the phone off, and runs out of her bedroom door, and is spotted by her mother

"Gotta go mom, Lammy wants to see me!" She says in as quick a manner as possible

"Don't get too rowdy, young lady.."

"MOM! We JUST started dating!" Katrina snickers at Katy's response, silently

"You never know...."

"I...I guess your right...but..."

"Just go Katy...she's missing you!"

Katy nods, and continues her sprint out of the door...and her race towards lammy's small apartment complex


	4. The Day Rammy Snapped (Slightly)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katy arrives at Lammy's apartment, and Parappa finds a depressed
> 
> (Oh and the homophobes return!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah sorry about the long pause between chapters. I wanted to make sure this fit my image of a real "rising action" kinda scene.

Lammy's apartment isn't exactly....opulent. Being placed on a second floor isn't really helping things. When Katy arrived, she didn't see hide nor tail of Lammy, but instead this black sheep...woman standing by his door. She was smoking while using some phone app, and silently cursing under her breath. 

"Uh...hello?"

The black sheep didn't immediately respond. She just coughed slightly, and looked at Katy in a rather disgusted fashion.

"Oh...you're Lammy's booty call, right? Wonderful...I thought my day was fucked already..."

Katy awkwardly stared at the sky, hoping this was some kind of sick joke. Rammy was apparently texting someone, as discovered by viewing her odd finger movements

"If you're lookin' for Lammy, she's inside, she's....freakin' out about something involving some pieces of shit...she's all like "I hope Katy is okay...what should I do" etc, and it's ANNOYING" She spits some sort of hot liquid out like a snake at Katy. She then fixes her cigarette, then grumbles something incoherent.

"C-can I go see her?"

"Fuckin' whatever...I got things to do..."

Katy doesn't hesitate, as she leaps around Rammy. Slowly but surely, she measures her way up he stairs, and snakes her way into Lammy's "House". Her first sight upon opening the door is...unsettling. Lammy is panicking, on her phone while pacing around the confined area she designated as her "sleeping area". Without making a sound, Katy slowly motions towards the cheap-o bed Lammy could afford, and sits down in an even slower fashion. Mere seconds later, she begins to speak.

"Lamb-chop...you okay?" Katy nearly whispers as to not cause Lammy any more stress.

"O-Oh?" Lammy turns around, and exhales, before plopping herself down next to her feline friend.

"Th-Thank god you're alright...I-I...I don't know what I'd......" Lammy shakes her head in disbelief, then holds her eyes closed

"Calm down...I'm fine...just tell me...what did Parappa tell you that has you acting like this?"

"He..uh...said w-while you we-were helping m-me...there was th-this...guy who...wanted to hurt me...hurt you...hurt yo-your mom..."

"Wait, what does yesterday have to do with my mom?"

"Re-remember...your mom is dating your drama...T-"

Katy groans audibly, and face palms

"I REALLY don't need to hear about my mothers possible sexual partners right now...no offense to her...but I'm worried about YOU right now!"

"O-oh...well...I...I was worried that...you were...w-were..."

"I'm fine, trust me Lammy...I can stand up to ANY challenges, cause I believe in myself, and that's all that matters!"

"Ye-YEAH! You're right Katy..."

Misreading her own emotions almost entirely, Lammy grabs Katy's arms and starts messily snogging the slightly surprised feline. Katy makes a few slightly panicked noises, makes a slight noise of confusion, then falls backwards onto the cheap mattress. Back outside, Rammy is still toying with her phone, presumably still texting somebody. She soon starts to hear car horns, frowns and puts in headphones to try to drown out the world. That...doesn't last long

"Fukkin' Lammy...why must I be HER doppelgänger?" She angrily whispers to herself. Moments later, a dolled-up convoy of SUVs drives in front of her and start honking their horn to nauseating effect. She hisses at the head car, who honks in a more hectic fashion, before a tattooed bruiser of a man steps out of the back, and growls like a psycho at her. The man grabs a gun from his holster, and cocks a scattergun haphazardly.

"You gonna fire that thing, cocksucker? Better not miss...it'd be terrible to have ta kill you all" Rammy threatens, which causes some of the men to back up their cars slightly. The large man doesn't flinch, just coughs and begins an oration of some sort to his "men", about how they are finally taking this city back from the "devils" who desire those of similar genders...a worrying proclamation to say the least. Rammy puts up her dukes, ready for a fight. But suddenly Parappa rides in on his skateboard, and all the men scatter like cowards...okay, that's weird. The fleeing hordes are so routed they crash into several random buildings, and even sometimes each other. Parappa cheers with an oddly drawn out enthusiasm and...Rammy has no words for what just occurred

"Hey Lammy, you hear those...noises? Someone sure havin' fun!"

"You really don't remember me, kid? I'm RAMMY, not that HUSSY...if you want her...like everyone seems to these days...she's inside probably getting her metaphorical wood wet with that..."

She doesn't finish her sentence out of both anger and bewilderment, seems like the time she's spent out of the "limelight" got to her. Parappa takes some time to think, but says nothing when Rammy sits down, drooping her head

"You cool? If you ain't, I can help!"

Lammy turns her head, says some kinda expletive, then shakes her head in disbelief

"I can't believe my luck...first I get fired because of HER, then she shows me up in front of EVERYONE...then I'm just tossed aside like garbage...it's a real fucking mess..."

Parappa tilts his head awkwardly, not quite understanding what's going on.

"What does "Metaphorical" mean?"

"I forgot I was talking to a grade schooler..." Rammy says, defeat in her voice

"Hey...like I've said so many times before, and I don't plan on stoppin': YOU GOTTA BELIEVE!"

"Believe?!? In what? Believe that I'm second fiddle to that...girl...BELIEVE that I'm always in the shadow of someone who's scared shitless without that CAT or her crap guitar?"

"Hey man...Katy is just being helpful...Lammy's had a tough lot too!"

"Being HELPFUL is fucking after they just started dating yesterday?!?

"Nah..they just...kissing and stuff...?" He states almost unsure of his statement.

Rammy looks up, tears welled up in her eyes, she then glares at Parappa

"What in HER life has been HARD? She's gotten everything she's ever wanted...I lost my job...I lost my friends...I lost my identity...fuck!"

Parappa doesn't respond, he stands up, and dusts off his pants and beanie, and gets back on his skateboard, he then stares Rammy right back in her eyes.

"I gotta go see Sunny Funny...I said my piece...you've said yours..but...please take it easy on Lamy n' Katy...okay?...bye"

He starts to skate off, slightly mad...but mostly disappointed. What luck, she even has a school kid disappointed with her. To make the situation worse, Katy exit the small upstairs abode and slides down the railing with catlike reflexes. She notices the upset lamb-demon before landing gracefully with a bow.

"Uh hey again Rammy?"

"What? You done screwing Lammy?"

"...I...we weren't..."Screwing"", we...made out for a bit...then we just talked...about...a lot of things..."

Rammy kinda blurred out Katy's soliloquy, and sat back down...she had to think for a bit..about, ironically a lot of things.

Well, drat...what's an evil doppelgänger to do? And what's with those crazy strangers?


	5. The Day Comes To A Close

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Edit: Edited the chapter at the behest of TrevorTheWriter, stil the same basic feel and ending. but added some extra lip-service so his character, Thalia, didn't seem violent (peace bro)

With Katy out on the town a lot, her mother Katrina has a lot of free time on her hands. She usually spends that time with a particular Mask-Wearing femme, but today that wasn't an option (Thalia is setting up some kind of show out of town). She also has this mystery suitor who keeps sending her gifts and things...most of which she donates to the schools drama program...unless it's pointless, like a letter, but as she ignored the mysterious mans advances, he just...disappeared. Now that she has some alone time, she wanted to spend it doing something mundane, like taking a well deserved cat-nap. That WAS until her phone rang, on the other end was Parappa's dad, who seemed very concerned about something.

"Uh...hey Katrina..it's me...Mr. Parappa...from the PTA?"

"Oh, hello sir...what can I do for you this fine evening?"

"Well, my son said these "goons" have been following your daughter"

"Oh? And do these goons have names?"

"Uh...that's what I'm unsure of, ma'am, my son said something about something like named "Parappa Town Confederacy"...but that makes no sense.

"Uh...huh...hmm, do you know where my little Katy is?"

"Yeah, she's right here...Katy told me to call Ms. Thalia...but that makes no sense!"

Katrina blushed slightly, then coughed in a mildly panicked fashion.

"Well, Thalia is a wonderful woman who has my complete and total trust...I'll have to call her after I come and pick up Katy..."

"Uh, okay, I'll hold down the...WAIT!"

Katrina awkwardly stared at her phone as the line went suddenly dead, she then rapidly dialed Ms. Thalia and heard a nice tune on the other end, which made her smile.

"Oh, hello Kat dear!"

"Hey, T...uh listen I...need your know-how on something..."

"Mhmm...and what could I do to indulge you?

"Uh...well Mr. Parappa told me about something involving a "Parappa Town Confederacy", sounds like gibberish I know, doll...but is that based on any fact?"

"Hmm...yes...but they aren't a REAL group, they just...coexist with us normal people. You don't need to worry your pretty little head about it."

"Is there a way to deal with them, in case?"

"Well of course, you could just put them in the hospital...that always works"

"Dear...no, no..."

"Such a poor sport.."

"Is there anything LEGAL that I can do?"

"...I'm coming back...don't tell anyone, okay darling?"

"Uh...okay, what're you going to do?"

"Ease your mind...I'm going to ease your mind"

"That's...vague..."

The phone line went dead again, wow...Katrina is having terrible luck with phones today. She didn't have much time to dwell on that, before she had. A knock on her door.

"Hello..?"

The visitor was Ma-San, who was wearing a cartoonishly large hood. Ma-San invited herself in, and sat on the large orange love-seat

"Oh hello, Ma-San! Why did you come to my house of all places, shouldn't cool kids like you be hanging out at Club Fun or something?"

"I messed up bad, miss..."

"Ohoho...I doubt that HIGHLY, I've known you and your parents since you and Katy were very young...you're all nothing but pleasant!"

"I spilled your daughters secret to those thugs..."

"Thugs?"

"Yeah, I was a little butt-hurt after being shafted like I was, and I blabbed to those goons at the local confederacy...you know..those crazy guys with the IQs of goldfish? I didn't expect them to go "John Ram-Beau" on Katy and Lammy...I feel pretty sucky about this if I'm honest..."

"Oh...I'm sure my Katy will forgive you!"

"What about Lammy? She already has frayed nerves as it is..."

"She's probably already forgiven you"

In the midst of their converstion, Katy walks in the still open door

"Hi Mom, I'm home!"

Katrina stood up, and gave her daughter a peck on the cheek

"Hello mom...OH! Hey Ma-San!"

Ma-San looked up, grinned, then looked around.

"What's up Em?" 

"I...I messed up.."

"Wait, what?"

"After you and Lammy left band practice a few days ago...I got into contact with those crazed freaks who were at your apartment this morning."

"Uh...it's cool Ma-San, besides, Milkcan ain't the same without the third member!"

Ma-San looked a bit aggravated, then smiled.

"Yeah...you're right K...I can't just walk out on you two because I was upset...thanks"

The two share a hug, then do a very bromantic high five

"GOOOO MILKCAN!" Katy cheers with an excess of exuberance.

"Wait..where's Lammy?"

"I'm right here guys!" Lammy calls from outside, before sprinting in and reuniting with the duo, to make them a trio once again!

"Wait Lammy, how did you get here? This is quite a ways away!" Katy asked' thinking Lammy walked the whole way there, but she didn't have to wonder for long. As a long black leg wiggled in and out of the door frame

"HELLO, DEARS!" The leg belonged to Thalia, of course. Katrina's eyes beamed, but then dimmed back to their usual feline-like shimmer.

"Wait, T...how did you make it back so fast?"

"Ssh...the audience LOVES unanswered questions! Why do you think theories exist?"

No one responded...there isn't an audience...but they weren't going to tell her that. 

"And...I brought guests!" Thalia proclaims, before shoving a large man through the door, who is visibly worried. Surprisingly, he seemed terrified of Ms. Thalia, trying to crawl away from her and even trying to bite the carpet so she can't pick him back up. When she lifted him onto a table regardless, he made a verbal scream.

"Uh...Thalia, why is that man screaming at you?"

"I have no idea to be frank..he's just shy...and a bit confused...I think that's from when his friends left him on the side of the road...poor fellow..."

"That's...that's the man Parappa was talking about...how did you get him, Ms. Thalia?"

"A girl has her ways...besides, I've already alerted the proper authorities, once again, the BEAUTIFUL and ELEGANT Madam Thalia saves the day!...how about we forget all this nasty business and go out for a little us time, we've all had a very stressful week, I'm sure."

Katy looked around...and sighed in disbelief...what an anticlimax...

(Oh yeah and before we close our tale: Something something, I GOTTA BELIEVE!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not even a little sorry about this

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and reviews are appreciated!
> 
>  
> 
> -Keith


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